I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
