I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
