i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
