She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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