You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
