Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
whose parrot is this?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize