I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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