shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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