Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No subtext here. People are naked.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
