Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
