I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
