google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
pop tarts are not kleenex
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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