I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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