It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
