I'm going to jail i love you
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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