Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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