He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
