I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
they need to just BURY HIM!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
