And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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