Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
