just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
