I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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