I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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