She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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