I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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