ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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