Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
