is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
