Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
