this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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