Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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