She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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