Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
