I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
