Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
