If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
