It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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