I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
