shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He better not be in your backpack
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
