party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
