gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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