No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this just has baby written all over it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
