Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have already put on my inside pants.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
