her vagine was all disorganized.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
