this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
