dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
