This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
