I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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