So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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