i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
