The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
