South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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