oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
