I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
