what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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