they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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