I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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