Walk of Shame. In a state park.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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