If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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